Act 1, Scene 1: The king of Navarre's park

SCENE I. The king of Navarre's park.

    Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE and DUMAIN

FERDINAND

    Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
    Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
    And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
    When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
    The endeavor of this present breath may buy
    That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
    And make us heirs of all eternity.
    Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,
    That war against your own affections
    And the huge army of the world's desires,--
    Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
    Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
    Our court shall be a little Academe,
    Still and contemplative in living art.
    You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
    Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
    My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
    That are recorded in this schedule here:
    Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
    That his own hand may strike his honour down
    That violates the smallest branch herein:
    If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
    Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.

LONGAVILLE

    I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
    The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
    Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
    Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.

DUMAIN

    My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
    The grosser manner of these world's delights
    He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
    To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
    With all these living in philosophy.

BIRON

    I can but say their protestation over;
    So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
    That is, to live and study here three years.
    But there are other strict observances;
    As, not to see a woman in that term,
    Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
    And one day in a week to touch no food
    And but one meal on every day beside,
    The which I hope is not enrolled there;
    And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
    And not be seen to wink of all the day--
    When I was wont to think no harm all night
    And make a dark night too of half the day--
    Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
    O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
    Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!

FERDINAND

    Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.

BIRON

    Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
    I only swore to study with your grace
    And stay here in your court for three years' space.

LONGAVILLE

    You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.

BIRON

    By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
    What is the end of study? let me know.

FERDINAND

    Why, that to know, which else we should not know.

BIRON

    Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?

FERDINAND

    Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.

BIRON

    Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
    To know the thing I am forbid to know:
    As thus,--to study where I well may dine,
    When I to feast expressly am forbid;
    Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
    When mistresses from common sense are hid;
    Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
    Study to break it and not break my troth.
    If study's gain be thus and this be so,
    Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
    Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.

FERDINAND

    These be the stops that hinder study quite
    And train our intellects to vain delight.

BIRON

    Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
    Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
    As, painfully to pore upon a book
    To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
    Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
    Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
    So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
    Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
    Study me how to please the eye indeed
    By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
    Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
    And give him light that it was blinded by.
    Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
    That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
    Small have continual plodders ever won
    Save base authority from others' books
    These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
    That give a name to every fixed star
    Have no more profit of their shining nights
    Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
    Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
    And every godfather can give a name.

FERDINAND

    How well he's read, to reason against reading!

DUMAIN

    Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!

LONGAVILLE

    He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.

BIRON

    The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.

DUMAIN

    How follows that?

BIRON

    Fit in his place and time.

DUMAIN

    In reason nothing.

BIRON

    Something then in rhyme.

FERDINAND

    Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
    That bites the first-born infants of the spring.

BIRON

    Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
    Before the birds have any cause to sing?
    Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
    At Christmas I no more desire a rose
    Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
    But like of each thing that in season grows.
    So you, to study now it is too late,
    Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.

FERDINAND

    Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.

BIRON

    No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
    And though I have for barbarism spoke more
    Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
    Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
    And bide the penance of each three years' day.
    Give me the paper; let me read the same;
    And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.

FERDINAND

    How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!

BIRON

    [Reads] 'Item, That no woman shall come within a
    mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?

LONGAVILLE

    Four days ago.

BIRON

    Let's see the penalty.

    Reads
    'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?

LONGAVILLE

    Marry, that did I.

BIRON

    Sweet lord, and why?

LONGAVILLE

    To fright them hence with that dread penalty.

BIRON

    A dangerous law against gentility!

    Reads
    'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
    within the term of three years, he shall endure such
    public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
    This article, my liege, yourself must break;
    For well you know here comes in embassy
    The French king's daughter with yourself to speak--
    A maid of grace and complete majesty--
    About surrender up of Aquitaine
    To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
    Therefore this article is made in vain,
    Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.

FERDINAND

    What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.

BIRON

    So study evermore is overshot:
    While it doth study to have what it would
    It doth forget to do the thing it should,
    And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
    'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.

FERDINAND

    We must of force dispense with this decree;
    She must lie here on mere necessity.

BIRON

    Necessity will make us all forsworn
    Three thousand times within this three years' space;
    For every man with his affects is born,
    Not by might master'd but by special grace:
    If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
    I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
    So to the laws at large I write my name:

    Subscribes
    And he that breaks them in the least degree
    Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
    Suggestions are to other as to me;
    But I believe, although I seem so loath,
    I am the last that will last keep his oath.
    But is there no quick recreation granted?

FERDINAND

    Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
    With a refined traveller of Spain;
    A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
    That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
    One whom the music of his own vain tongue
    Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
    A man of complements, whom right and wrong
    Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
    This child of fancy, that Armado hight,
    For interim to our studies shall relate
    In high-born words the worth of many a knight
    From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
    How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
    But, I protest, I love to hear him lie
    And I will use him for my minstrelsy.

BIRON

    Armado is a most illustrious wight,
    A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.

LONGAVILLE

    Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
    And so to study, three years is but short.

    Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARD

DULL

    Which is the duke's own person?

BIRON

    This, fellow: what wouldst?

DULL

    I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
    grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person
    in flesh and blood.

BIRON

    This is he.

DULL

    Signior Arme--Arme--commends you. There's villany
    abroad: this letter will tell you more.

COSTARD

    Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.

FERDINAND

    A letter from the magnificent Armado.

BIRON

    How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.

LONGAVILLE

    A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!

BIRON

    To hear? or forbear laughing?

LONGAVILLE

    To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to
    forbear both.

BIRON

    Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
    climb in the merriness.

COSTARD

    The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
    The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.

BIRON

    In what manner?

COSTARD

    In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
    I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
    her upon the form, and taken following her into the
    park; which, put together, is in manner and form
    following. Now, sir, for the manner,--it is the
    manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,--
    in some form.

BIRON

    For the following, sir?

COSTARD

    As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
    the right!

FERDINAND

    Will you hear this letter with attention?

BIRON

    As we would hear an oracle.

COSTARD

    Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
    sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
    and body's fostering patron.'

COSTARD

    Not a word of Costard yet.

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'So it is,'--

COSTARD

    It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
    telling true, but so.

FERDINAND

    Peace!

COSTARD

    Be to me and every man that dares not fight!

FERDINAND

    No words!

COSTARD

    Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
    melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
    to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
    air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
    walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
    beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
    to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
    for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
    I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
    for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
    that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
    from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
    here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
    but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
    and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
    knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
    swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'--

COSTARD

    Me?

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'--

COSTARD

    Me?

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'that shallow vassal,'--

COSTARD

    Still me?

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'--

COSTARD

    O, me!

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
    established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
    which with,--O, with--but with this I passion to say
    wherewith,--

COSTARD

    With a wench.

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
    female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
    woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
    have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
    punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
    Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and
    estimation.'

DULL

    'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.

FERDINAND

    [Reads] 'For Jaquenetta,--so is the weaker vessel
    called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
    swain,--I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury;
    and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
    her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
    and heart-burning heat of duty.
    DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'

BIRON

    This is not so well as I looked for, but the best
    that ever I heard.

FERDINAND

    Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
    you to this?

COSTARD

    Sir, I confess the wench.

FERDINAND

    Did you hear the proclamation?

COSTARD

    I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
    the marking of it.

FERDINAND

    It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
    with a wench.

COSTARD

    I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.

FERDINAND

    Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'

COSTARD

    This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.

FERDINAND

    It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'

COSTARD

    If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.

FERDINAND

    This maid will not serve your turn, sir.

COSTARD

    This maid will serve my turn, sir.

FERDINAND

    Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
    a week with bran and water.

COSTARD

    I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

FERDINAND

    And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
    My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
    And go we, lords, to put in practise that
    Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.

    Exeunt FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN

BIRON

    I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
    These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
    Sirrah, come on.

COSTARD

    I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
    taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
    girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
    prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
    till then, sit thee down, sorrow!

    Exeunt