Act 1, Scene 1: Verona. An open place

SCENE I. Verona. An open place.

    Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS

VALENTINE

    Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:
    Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
    Were't not affection chains thy tender days
    To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,
    I rather would entreat thy company
    To see the wonders of the world abroad,
    Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
    Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
    But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein,
    Even as I would when I to love begin.

PROTEUS

    Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!
    Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
    Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:
    Wish me partaker in thy happiness
    When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
    If ever danger do environ thee,
    Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
    For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.

VALENTINE

    And on a love-book pray for my success?

PROTEUS

    Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.

VALENTINE

    That's on some shallow story of deep love:
    How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.

PROTEUS

    That's a deep story of a deeper love:
    For he was more than over shoes in love.

VALENTINE

    'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,
    And yet you never swum the Hellespont.

PROTEUS

    Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.

VALENTINE

    No, I will not, for it boots thee not.

PROTEUS

    What?

VALENTINE

    To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;
    Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth
    With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:
    If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
    If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
    However, but a folly bought with wit,
    Or else a wit by folly vanquished.

PROTEUS

    So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.

VALENTINE

    So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.

PROTEUS

    'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.

VALENTINE

    Love is your master, for he masters you:
    And he that is so yoked by a fool,
    Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.

PROTEUS

    Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
    The eating canker dwells, so eating love
    Inhabits in the finest wits of all.

VALENTINE

    And writers say, as the most forward bud
    Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
    Even so by love the young and tender wit
    Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,
    Losing his verdure even in the prime
    And all the fair effects of future hopes.
    But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,
    That art a votary to fond desire?
    Once more adieu! my father at the road
    Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.

PROTEUS

    And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.

VALENTINE

    Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
    To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
    Of thy success in love, and what news else
    Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
    And likewise will visit thee with mine.

PROTEUS

    All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!

VALENTINE

    As much to you at home! and so, farewell.

    Exit

PROTEUS

    He after honour hunts, I after love:
    He leaves his friends to dignify them more,
    I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
    Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
    Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
    War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
    Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.

    Enter SPEED

SPEED

    Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?

PROTEUS

    But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.

SPEED

    Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
    And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.

PROTEUS

    Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,
    An if the shepherd be a while away.

SPEED

    You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
    and I a sheep?

PROTEUS

    I do.

SPEED

    Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.

PROTEUS

    A silly answer and fitting well a sheep.

SPEED

    This proves me still a sheep.

PROTEUS

    True; and thy master a shepherd.

SPEED

    Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.

PROTEUS

    It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.

SPEED

    The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
    shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
    not me: therefore I am no sheep.

PROTEUS

    The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the
    shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for
    wages followest thy master; thy master for wages
    follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.

SPEED

    Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'

PROTEUS

    But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?

SPEED

    Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
    a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
    lost mutton, nothing for my labour.

PROTEUS

    Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.

SPEED

    If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.

PROTEUS

    Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you.

SPEED

    Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
    carrying your letter.

PROTEUS

    You mistake; I mean the pound,--a pinfold.

SPEED

    From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,
    'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to
    your lover.

PROTEUS

    But what said she?

SPEED

    [First nodding] Ay.

PROTEUS

    Nod--Ay--why, that's noddy.

SPEED

    You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask
    me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.'

PROTEUS

    And that set together is noddy.

SPEED

    Now you have taken the pains to set it together,
    take it for your pains.

PROTEUS

    No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter.

SPEED

    Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.

PROTEUS

    Why sir, how do you bear with me?

SPEED

    Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing
    but the word 'noddy' for my pains.

PROTEUS

    Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.

SPEED

    And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.

PROTEUS

    Come come, open the matter in brief: what said she?

SPEED

    Open your purse, that the money and the matter may
    be both at once delivered.

PROTEUS

    Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she?

SPEED

    Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.

PROTEUS

    Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her?

SPEED

    Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,
    not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter:
    and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I
    fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your
    mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as
    hard as steel.

PROTEUS

    What said she? nothing?

SPEED

    No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To
    testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned
    me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your
    letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.

PROTEUS

    Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck,
    Which cannot perish having thee aboard,
    Being destined to a drier death on shore.

    Exit SPEED
    I must go send some better messenger:
    I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
    Receiving them from such a worthless post.

    Exit

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