Act 2, Scene 1: A hall In ANGELO's house

SCENE I. A hall In ANGELO's house.

    Enter ANGELO, ESCALUS, and a Justice, Provost, Officers, and other Attendants, behind

ANGELO

    We must not make a scarecrow of the law,
    Setting it up to fear the birds of prey,
    And let it keep one shape, till custom make it
    Their perch and not their terror.

ESCALUS

    Ay, but yet
    Let us be keen, and rather cut a little,
    Than fall, and bruise to death. Alas, this gentleman
    Whom I would save, had a most noble father!
    Let but your honour know,
    Whom I believe to be most strait in virtue,
    That, in the working of your own affections,
    Had time cohered with place or place with wishing,
    Or that the resolute acting of your blood
    Could have attain'd the effect of your own purpose,
    Whether you had not sometime in your life
    Err'd in this point which now you censure him,
    And pull'd the law upon you.

ANGELO

    'Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus,
    Another thing to fall. I not deny,
    The jury, passing on the prisoner's life,
    May in the sworn twelve have a thief or two
    Guiltier than him they try. What's open made to justice,
    That justice seizes: what know the laws
    That thieves do pass on thieves? 'Tis very pregnant,
    The jewel that we find, we stoop and take't
    Because we see it; but what we do not see
    We tread upon, and never think of it.
    You may not so extenuate his offence
    For I have had such faults; but rather tell me,
    When I, that censure him, do so offend,
    Let mine own judgment pattern out my death,
    And nothing come in partial. Sir, he must die.

ESCALUS

    Be it as your wisdom will.

ANGELO

    Where is the provost?

Provost

    Here, if it like your honour.

ANGELO

    See that Claudio
    Be executed by nine to-morrow morning:
    Bring him his confessor, let him be prepared;
    For that's the utmost of his pilgrimage.

    Exit Provost

ESCALUS

    [Aside] Well, heaven forgive him! and forgive us all!
    Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall:
    Some run from brakes of ice, and answer none:
    And some condemned for a fault alone.

    Enter ELBOW, and Officers with FROTH and POMPEY

ELBOW

    Come, bring them away: if these be good people in
    a commonweal that do nothing but use their abuses in
    common houses, I know no law: bring them away.

ANGELO

    How now, sir! What's your name? and what's the matter?

ELBOW

    If it Please your honour, I am the poor duke's
    constable, and my name is Elbow: I do lean upon
    justice, sir, and do bring in here before your good
    honour two notorious benefactors.

ANGELO

    Benefactors? Well; what benefactors are they? are
    they not malefactors?

ELBOW

    If it? please your honour, I know not well what they
    are: but precise villains they are, that I am sure
    of; and void of all profanation in the world that
    good Christians ought to have.

ESCALUS

    This comes off well; here's a wise officer.

ANGELO

    Go to: what quality are they of? Elbow is your
    name? why dost thou not speak, Elbow?

POMPEY

    He cannot, sir; he's out at elbow.

ANGELO

    What are you, sir?

ELBOW

    He, sir! a tapster, sir; parcel-bawd; one that
    serves a bad woman; whose house, sir, was, as they
    say, plucked down in the suburbs; and now she
    professes a hot-house, which, I think, is a very ill house too.

ESCALUS

    How know you that?

ELBOW

    My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and your honour,--

ESCALUS

    How? thy wife?

ELBOW

    Ay, sir; whom, I thank heaven, is an honest woman,--

ESCALUS

    Dost thou detest her therefore?

ELBOW

    I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as
    she, that this house, if it be not a bawd's house,
    it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.

ESCALUS

    How dost thou know that, constable?

ELBOW

    Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman
    cardinally given, might have been accused in
    fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness there.

ESCALUS

    By the woman's means?

ELBOW

    Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone's means: but as she
    spit in his face, so she defied him.

POMPEY

    Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.

ELBOW

    Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable
    man; prove it.

ESCALUS

    Do you hear how he misplaces?

POMPEY

    Sir, she came in great with child; and longing,
    saving your honour's reverence, for stewed prunes;
    sir, we had but two in the house, which at that very
    distant time stood, as it were, in a fruit-dish, a
    dish of some three-pence; your honours have seen
    such dishes; they are not China dishes, but very
    good dishes,--

ESCALUS

    Go to, go to: no matter for the dish, sir.

POMPEY

    No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in
    the right: but to the point. As I say, this
    Mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and
    being great-bellied, and longing, as I said, for
    prunes; and having but two in the dish, as I said,
    Master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the
    rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them very
    honestly; for, as you know, Master Froth, I could
    not give you three-pence again.

FROTH

    No, indeed.

POMPEY

    Very well: you being then, if you be remembered,
    cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes,--

FROTH

    Ay, so I did indeed.

POMPEY

    Why, very well; I telling you then, if you be
    remembered, that such a one and such a one were past
    cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very
    good diet, as I told you,--

FROTH

    All this is true.

POMPEY

    Why, very well, then,--

ESCALUS

    Come, you are a tedious fool: to the purpose. What
    was done to Elbow's wife, that he hath cause to
    complain of? Come me to what was done to her.

POMPEY

    Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet.

ESCALUS

    No, sir, nor I mean it not.

POMPEY

    Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour's
    leave. And, I beseech you, look into Master Froth
    here, sir; a man of four-score pound a year; whose
    father died at Hallowmas: was't not at Hallowmas,
    Master Froth?

FROTH

    All-hallond eve.

POMPEY

    Why, very well; I hope here be truths. He, sir,
    sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir; 'twas in
    the Bunch of Grapes, where indeed you have a delight
    to sit, have you not?

FROTH

    I have so; because it is an open room and good for winter.

POMPEY

    Why, very well, then; I hope here be truths.

ANGELO

    This will last out a night in Russia,
    When nights are longest there: I'll take my leave.
    And leave you to the hearing of the cause;
    Hoping you'll find good cause to whip them all.

ESCALUS

    I think no less. Good morrow to your lordship.

    Exit ANGELO
    Now, sir, come on: what was done to Elbow's wife, once more?

POMPEY

    Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once.

ELBOW

    I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.

POMPEY

    I beseech your honour, ask me.

ESCALUS

    Well, sir; what did this gentleman to her?

POMPEY

    I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman's face.
    Good Master Froth, look upon his honour; 'tis for a
    good purpose. Doth your honour mark his face?

ESCALUS

    Ay, sir, very well.

POMPEY

    Nay; I beseech you, mark it well.

ESCALUS

    Well, I do so.

POMPEY

    Doth your honour see any harm in his face?

ESCALUS

    Why, no.

POMPEY

    I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst
    thing about him. Good, then; if his face be the
    worst thing about him, how could Master Froth do the
    constable's wife any harm? I would know that of
    your honour.

ESCALUS

    He's in the right. Constable, what say you to it?

ELBOW

    First, an it like you, the house is a respected
    house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his
    mistress is a respected woman.

POMPEY

    By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected
    person than any of us all.

ELBOW

    Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet! the
    time has yet to come that she was ever respected
    with man, woman, or child.

POMPEY

    Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her.

ESCALUS

    Which is the wiser here? Justice or Iniquity? Is
    this true?

ELBOW

    O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked
    Hannibal! I respected with her before I was married
    to her! If ever I was respected with her, or she
    with me, let not your worship think me the poor
    duke's officer. Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or
    I'll have mine action of battery on thee.

ESCALUS

    If he took you a box o' the ear, you might have your
    action of slander too.

ELBOW

    Marry, I thank your good worship for it. What is't
    your worship's pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff?

ESCALUS

    Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him
    that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst, let him
    continue in his courses till thou knowest what they
    are.

ELBOW

    Marry, I thank your worship for it. Thou seest, thou
    wicked varlet, now, what's come upon thee: thou art
    to continue now, thou varlet; thou art to continue.

ESCALUS

    Where were you born, friend?

FROTH

    Here in Vienna, sir.

ESCALUS

    Are you of fourscore pounds a year?

FROTH

    Yes, an't please you, sir.

ESCALUS

    So. What trade are you of, sir?

POMPHEY

    Tapster; a poor widow's tapster.

ESCALUS

    Your mistress' name?

POMPHEY

    Mistress Overdone.

ESCALUS

    Hath she had any more than one husband?

POMPEY

    Nine, sir; Overdone by the last.

ESCALUS

    Nine! Come hither to me, Master Froth. Master
    Froth, I would not have you acquainted with
    tapsters: they will draw you, Master Froth, and you
    will hang them. Get you gone, and let me hear no
    more of you.

FROTH

    I thank your worship. For mine own part, I never
    come into any room in a tap-house, but I am drawn
    in.

ESCALUS

    Well, no more of it, Master Froth: farewell.

    Exit FROTH
    Come you hither to me, Master tapster. What's your
    name, Master tapster?

POMPEY

    Pompey.

ESCALUS

    What else?

POMPEY

    Bum, sir.

ESCALUS

    Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you;
    so that in the beastliest sense you are Pompey the
    Great. Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey,
    howsoever you colour it in being a tapster, are you
    not? come, tell me true: it shall be the better for you.

POMPEY

    Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.

ESCALUS

    How would you live, Pompey? by being a bawd? What
    do you think of the trade, Pompey? is it a lawful trade?

POMPEY

    If the law would allow it, sir.

ESCALUS

    But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it shall
    not be allowed in Vienna.

POMPEY

    Does your worship mean to geld and splay all the
    youth of the city?

ESCALUS

    No, Pompey.

POMPEY

    Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to't then.
    If your worship will take order for the drabs and
    the knaves, you need not to fear the bawds.

ESCALUS

    There are pretty orders beginning, I can tell you:
    it is but heading and hanging.

POMPEY

    If you head and hang all that offend that way but
    for ten year together, you'll be glad to give out a
    commission for more heads: if this law hold in
    Vienna ten year, I'll rent the fairest house in it
    after three-pence a bay: if you live to see this
    come to pass, say Pompey told you so.

ESCALUS

    Thank you, good Pompey; and, in requital of your
    prophecy, hark you: I advise you, let me not find
    you before me again upon any complaint whatsoever;
    no, not for dwelling where you do: if I do, Pompey,
    I shall beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd
    Caesar to you; in plain dealing, Pompey, I shall
    have you whipt: so, for this time, Pompey, fare you well.

POMPEY

    I thank your worship for your good counsel:

    Aside
    but I shall follow it as the flesh and fortune shall
    better determine.
    Whip me? No, no; let carman whip his jade:
    The valiant heart is not whipt out of his trade.

    Exit

ESCALUS

    Come hither to me, Master Elbow; come hither, Master
    constable. How long have you been in this place of constable?

ELBOW

    Seven year and a half, sir.

ESCALUS

    I thought, by your readiness in the office, you had
    continued in it some time. You say, seven years together?

ELBOW

    And a half, sir.

ESCALUS

    Alas, it hath been great pains to you. They do you
    wrong to put you so oft upon 't: are there not men
    in your ward sufficient to serve it?

ELBOW

    Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters: as they
    are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I
    do it for some piece of money, and go through with
    all.

ESCALUS

    Look you bring me in the names of some six or seven,
    the most sufficient of your parish.

ELBOW

    To your worship's house, sir?

ESCALUS

    To my house. Fare you well.

    Exit ELBOW
    What's o'clock, think you?

Justice

    Eleven, sir.

ESCALUS

    I pray you home to dinner with me.

Justice

    I humbly thank you.

ESCALUS

    It grieves me for the death of Claudio;
    But there's no remedy.

Justice

    Lord Angelo is severe.

ESCALUS

    It is but needful:
    Mercy is not itself, that oft looks so;
    Pardon is still the nurse of second woe:
    But yet,--poor Claudio! There is no remedy.
    Come, sir.

    Exeunt

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