Act 3, Scene 1: Troy. Priam's palace

SCENE I. Troy. Priam's palace.

    Enter a Servant and PANDARUS

PANDARUS

    Friend, you! pray you, a word: do not you follow
    the young Lord Paris?

Servant

    Ay, sir, when he goes before me.

PANDARUS

    You depend upon him, I mean?

Servant

    Sir, I do depend upon the lord.

PANDARUS

    You depend upon a noble gentleman; I must needs
    praise him.

Servant

    The lord be praised!

PANDARUS

    You know me, do you not?

Servant

    Faith, sir, superficially.

PANDARUS

    Friend, know me better; I am the Lord Pandarus.

Servant

    I hope I shall know your honour better.

PANDARUS

    I do desire it.

Servant

    You are in the state of grace.

PANDARUS

    Grace! not so, friend: honour and lordship are my titles.

    Music within
    What music is this?

Servant

    I do but partly know, sir: it is music in parts.

PANDARUS

    Know you the musicians?

Servant

    Wholly, sir.

PANDARUS

    Who play they to?

Servant

    To the hearers, sir.

PANDARUS

    At whose pleasure, friend

Servant

    At mine, sir, and theirs that love music.

PANDARUS

    Command, I mean, friend.

Servant

    Who shall I command, sir?

PANDARUS

    Friend, we understand not one another: I am too
    courtly and thou art too cunning. At whose request
    do these men play?

Servant

    That's to 't indeed, sir: marry, sir, at the request
    of Paris my lord, who's there in person; with him,
    the mortal Venus, the heart-blood of beauty, love's
    invisible soul,--

PANDARUS

    Who, my cousin Cressida?

Servant

    No, sir, Helen: could you not find out that by her
    attributes?

PANDARUS

    It should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the
    Lady Cressida. I come to speak with Paris from the
    Prince Troilus: I will make a complimental assault
    upon him, for my business seethes.

Servant

    Sodden business! there's a stewed phrase indeed!

    Enter PARIS and HELEN, attended

PANDARUS

    Fair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair
    company! fair desires, in all fair measure,
    fairly guide them! especially to you, fair queen!
    fair thoughts be your fair pillow!

HELEN

    Dear lord, you are full of fair words.

PANDARUS

    You speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen. Fair
    prince, here is good broken music.

PARIS

    You have broke it, cousin: and, by my life, you
    shall make it whole again; you shall piece it out
    with a piece of your performance. Nell, he is full
    of harmony.

PANDARUS

    Truly, lady, no.

HELEN

    O, sir,--

PANDARUS

    Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.

PARIS

    Well said, my lord! well, you say so in fits.

PANDARUS

    I have business to my lord, dear queen. My lord,
    will you vouchsafe me a word?

HELEN

    Nay, this shall not hedge us out: we'll hear you
    sing, certainly.

PANDARUS

    Well, sweet queen. you are pleasant with me. But,
    marry, thus, my lord: my dear lord and most esteemed
    friend, your brother Troilus,--

HELEN

    My Lord Pandarus; honey-sweet lord,--

PANDARUS

    Go to, sweet queen, to go:--commends himself most
    affectionately to you,--

HELEN

    You shall not bob us out of our melody: if you do,
    our melancholy upon your head!

PANDARUS

    Sweet queen, sweet queen! that's a sweet queen, i' faith.

HELEN

    And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.

PANDARUS

    Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall not,
    in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no,
    no. And, my lord, he desires you, that if the king
    call for him at supper, you will make his excuse.

HELEN

    My Lord Pandarus,--

PANDARUS

    What says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?

PARIS

    What exploit's in hand? where sups he to-night?

HELEN

    Nay, but, my lord,--

PANDARUS

    What says my sweet queen? My cousin will fall out
    with you. You must not know where he sups.

PARIS

    I'll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.

PANDARUS

    No, no, no such matter; you are wide: come, your
    disposer is sick.

PARIS

    Well, I'll make excuse.

PANDARUS

    Ay, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida? no,
    your poor disposer's sick.

PARIS

    I spy.

PANDARUS

    You spy! what do you spy? Come, give me an
    instrument. Now, sweet queen.

HELEN

    Why, this is kindly done.

PANDARUS

    My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have,
    sweet queen.

HELEN

    She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my lord Paris.

PANDARUS

    He! no, she'll none of him; they two are twain.

HELEN

    Falling in, after falling out, may make them three.

PANDARUS

    Come, come, I'll hear no more of this; I'll sing
    you a song now.

HELEN

    Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou
    hast a fine forehead.

PANDARUS

    Ay, you may, you may.

HELEN

    Let thy song be love: this love will undo us all.
    O Cupid, Cupid, Cupid!

PANDARUS

    Love! ay, that it shall, i' faith.

PARIS

    Ay, good now, love, love, nothing but love.

PANDARUS

    In good troth, it begins so.

    Sings
    Love, love, nothing but love, still more!
    For, O, love's bow
    Shoots buck and doe:
    The shaft confounds,
    Not that it wounds,
    But tickles still the sore.
    These lovers cry Oh! oh! they die!
    Yet that which seems the wound to kill,
    Doth turn oh! oh! to ha! ha! he!
    So dying love lives still:
    Oh! oh! a while, but ha! ha! ha!
    Oh! oh! groans out for ha! ha! ha!
    Heigh-ho!

HELEN

    In love, i' faith, to the very tip of the nose.

PARIS

    He eats nothing but doves, love, and that breeds hot
    blood, and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot
    thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love.

PANDARUS

    Is this the generation of love? hot blood, hot
    thoughts, and hot deeds? Why, they are vipers:
    is love a generation of vipers? Sweet lord, who's
    a-field to-day?

PARIS

    Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the
    gallantry of Troy: I would fain have armed to-day,
    but my Nell would not have it so. How chance my
    brother Troilus went not?

HELEN

    He hangs the lip at something: you know all, Lord Pandarus.

PANDARUS

    Not I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they
    sped to-day. You'll remember your brother's excuse?

PARIS

    To a hair.

PANDARUS

    Farewell, sweet queen.

HELEN

    Commend me to your niece.

PANDARUS

    I will, sweet queen.

    Exit

    A retreat sounded

PARIS

    They're come from field: let us to Priam's hall,
    To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you
    To help unarm our Hector: his stubborn buckles,
    With these your white enchanting fingers touch'd,
    Shall more obey than to the edge of steel
    Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more
    Than all the island kings,--disarm great Hector.

HELEN

    'Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris;
    Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty
    Gives us more palm in beauty than we have,
    Yea, overshines ourself.

PARIS

    Sweet, above thought I love thee.

    Exeunt

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