Act 4, Scene 3: A public place.

SCENE III. A public place.

    Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse

    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
    As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
    And every one doth call me by my name.
    Some tender money to me; some invite me;
    Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
    Some offer me commodities to buy:
    Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop
    And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
    And therewithal took measure of my body.
    Sure, these are but imaginary wiles
    And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.

    Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Master, here's the gold you sent me for. What, have
    you got the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Not that Adam that kept the Paradise but that Adam
    that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's
    skin that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came
    behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you
    forsake your liberty.
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    I understand thee not.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a
    bass-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir,
    that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob
    and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed
    men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up
    his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a
    morris-pike.
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    What, thou meanest an officer?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band, he that brings
    any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that
    thinks a man always going to bed, and says, 'God
    give you good rest!'
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the
    bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were
    you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy
    Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to
    deliver you.
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    The fellow is distract, and so am I;
    And here we wander in illusions:
    Some blessed power deliver us from hence!

    Enter a Courtezan

Courtezan

    Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
    I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
    Is that the chain you promised me to-day?
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Master, is this Mistress Satan?
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    It is the devil.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here
    she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof
    comes that the wenches say 'God damn me;' that's as
    much to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is
    written, they appear to men like angels of light:
    light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn;
    ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.

Courtezan

    Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
    Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat; or bespeak a
    long spoon.
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    Why, Dromio?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with
    the devil.
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping?
    Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress:
    I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.

Courtezan

    Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
    Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
    And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
    A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
    A nut, a cherry-stone;
    But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
    Master, be wise: an if you give it her,
    The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.

Courtezan

    I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain:
    I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
    ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE

    Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    'Fly pride,' says the peacock: mistress, that you know.

    Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse

Courtezan

    Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
    Else would he never so demean himself.
    A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
    And for the same he promised me a chain:
    Both one and other he denies me now.
    The reason that I gather he is mad,
    Besides this present instance of his rage,
    Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
    Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
    Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
    On purpose shut the doors against his way.
    My way is now to hie home to his house,
    And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
    He rush'd into my house and took perforce
    My ring away. This course I fittest choose;
    For forty ducats is too much to lose.

    Exit