Act 5, Scene 5: A public place near Westminster Abbey

SCENE V. A public place near Westminster Abbey.

    Enter two Grooms, strewing rushes

First Groom

    More rushes, more rushes.

Second Groom

    The trumpets have sounded twice.

First Groom

    'Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the
    coronation: dispatch, dispatch.

    Exeunt

    Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and Page

FALSTAFF

    Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will
    make the king do you grace: I will leer upon him as
    a' comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he
    will give me.

PISTOL

    God bless thy lungs, good knight.

FALSTAFF

    Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. O, if I had had
    time to have made new liveries, I would have
    bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you. But
    'tis no matter; this poor show doth better: this
    doth infer the zeal I had to see him.

SHALLOW

    It doth so.

FALSTAFF

    It shows my earnestness of affection,--

SHALLOW

    It doth so.

FALSTAFF

    My devotion,--

SHALLOW

    It doth, it doth, it doth.

FALSTAFF

    As it were, to ride day and night; and not to
    deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience
    to shift me,--

SHALLOW

    It is best, certain.

FALSTAFF

    But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with
    desire to see him; thinking of nothing else,
    putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there
    were nothing else to be done but to see him.

PISTOL

    'Tis 'semper idem,' for 'obsque hoc nihil est:'
    'tis all in every part.

SHALLOW

    'Tis so, indeed.

PISTOL

    My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver,
    And make thee rage.
    Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
    Is in base durance and contagious prison;
    Haled thither
    By most mechanical and dirty hand:
    Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell
    Alecto's snake,
    For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.

FALSTAFF

    I will deliver her.

    Shouts within, and the trumpets sound

PISTOL

    There roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.

    Enter KING HENRY V and his train, the Lord Chief- Justice among them

FALSTAFF

    God save thy grace, King Hal! my royal Hal!

PISTOL

    The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame!

FALSTAFF

    God save thee, my sweet boy!

KING HENRY IV

    My lord chief-justice, speak to that vain man.
    Lord Chief-Justice Have you your wits? know you what 'tis to speak?

FALSTAFF

    My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!

KING HENRY IV

    I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers;
    How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
    I have long dream'd of such a kind of man,
    So surfeit-swell'd, so old and so profane;
    But, being awaked, I do despise my dream.
    Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;
    Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
    For thee thrice wider than for other men.
    Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:
    Presume not that I am the thing I was;
    For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
    That I have turn'd away my former self;
    So will I those that kept me company.
    When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
    Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
    The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
    Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,
    As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
    Not to come near our person by ten mile.
    For competence of life I will allow you,
    That lack of means enforce you not to evil:
    And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,
    We will, according to your strengths and qualities,
    Give you advancement. Be it your charge, my lord,
    To see perform'd the tenor of our word. Set on.

    Exeunt KING HENRY V, & c

FALSTAFF

    Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound.

SHALLOW

    Yea, marry, Sir John; which I beseech you to let me
    have home with me.

FALSTAFF

    That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you
    grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to
    him: look you, he must seem thus to the world:
    fear not your advancements; I will be the man yet
    that shall make you great.

SHALLOW

    I cannot well perceive how, unless you should give
    me your doublet and stuff me out with straw. I
    beseech you, good Sir John, let me have five hundred
    of my thousand.

FALSTAFF

    Sir, I will be as good as my word: this that you
    heard was but a colour.

SHALLOW

    A colour that I fear you will die in, Sir John.

FALSTAFF

    Fear no colours: go with me to dinner: come,
    Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph: I shall be sent
    for soon at night.

    Re-enter Prince John of LANCASTER, the Lord Chief-Justice; Officers with them
    Lord Chief-Justice Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet:
    Take all his company along with him.

FALSTAFF

    My lord, my lord,--
    Lord Chief-Justice I cannot now speak: I will hear you soon.
    Take them away.

PISTOL

    Si fortune me tormenta, spero contenta.

    Exeunt all but PRINCE JOHN and the Lord Chief-Justice

LANCASTER

    I like this fair proceeding of the king's:
    He hath intent his wonted followers
    Shall all be very well provided for;
    But all are banish'd till their conversations
    Appear more wise and modest to the world.
    Lord Chief-Justice And so they are.

LANCASTER

    The king hath call'd his parliament, my lord.
    Lord Chief-Justice He hath.

LANCASTER

    I will lay odds that, ere this year expire,
    We bear our civil swords and native fire
    As far as France: I beard a bird so sing,
    Whose music, to my thinking, pleased the king.
    Come, will you hence?

    Exeunt
    EPILOGUE

    Spoken by a Dancer
    First my fear; then my courtesy; last my speech.
    My fear is, your displeasure; my courtesy, my duty;
    and my speech, to beg your pardons. If you look
    for a good speech now, you undo me: for what I have
    to say is of mine own making; and what indeed I
    should say will, I doubt, prove mine own marring.
    But to the purpose, and so to the venture. Be it
    known to you, as it is very well, I was lately here
    in the end of a displeasing play, to pray your
    patience for it and to promise you a better. I
    meant indeed to pay you with this; which, if like an
    ill venture it come unluckily home, I break, and
    you, my gentle creditors, lose. Here I promised you
    I would be and here I commit my body to your
    mercies: bate me some and I will pay you some and,
    as most debtors do, promise you infinitely.
    If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, will
    you command me to use my legs? and yet that were but
    light payment, to dance out of your debt. But a
    good conscience will make any possible satisfaction,
    and so would I. All the gentlewomen here have
    forgiven me: if the gentlemen will not, then the
    gentlemen do not agree with the gentlewomen, which
    was never seen before in such an assembly.
    One word more, I beseech you. If you be not too
    much cloyed with fat meat, our humble author will
    continue the story, with Sir John in it, and make
    you merry with fair Katharine of France: where, for
    any thing I know, Falstaff shall die of a sweat,
    unless already a' be killed with your hard
    opinions; for Oldcastle died a martyr, and this is
    not the man. My tongue is weary; when my legs are
    too, I will bid you good night: and so kneel down
    before you; but, indeed, to pray for the queen

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