All's Well That Ends Well - Act 1 - Scene 1

SCENE I. Rousillon. The COUNT's palace.

    Enter BERTRAM, the COUNTESS of Rousillon, HELENA, and LAFEU, all in black

COUNTESS

    In delivering my son from me, I bury a second husband.

BERTRAM

    And I in going, madam, weep o'er my father's death
    anew: but I must attend his majesty's command, to
    whom I am now in ward, evermore in subjection.

LAFEU

    You shall find of the king a husband, madam; you,
    sir, a father: he that so generally is at all times
    good must of necessity hold his virtue to you; whose
    worthiness would stir it up where it wanted rather
    than lack it where there is such abundance.

COUNTESS

    What hope is there of his majesty's amendment?

LAFEU

    He hath abandoned his physicians, madam; under whose
    practises he hath persecuted time with hope, and
    finds no other advantage in the process but only the
    losing of hope by time.

COUNTESS

    This young gentlewoman had a father,--O, that
    'had'! how sad a passage 'tis!--whose skill was
    almost as great as his honesty; had it stretched so
    far, would have made nature immortal, and death
    should have play for lack of work. Would, for the
    king's sake, he were living! I think it would be
    the death of the king's disease.

LAFEU

    How called you the man you speak of, madam?

COUNTESS

    He was famous, sir, in his profession, and it was
    his great right to be so: Gerard de Narbon.

LAFEU

    He was excellent indeed, madam: the king very
    lately spoke of him admiringly and mourningly: he
    was skilful enough to have lived still, if knowledge
    could be set up against mortality.

BERTRAM

    What is it, my good lord, the king languishes of?

LAFEU

    A fistula, my lord.

BERTRAM

    I heard not of it before.

LAFEU

    I would it were not notorious. Was this gentlewoman
    the daughter of Gerard de Narbon?

COUNTESS

    His sole child, my lord, and bequeathed to my
    overlooking. I have those hopes of her good that
    her education promises; her dispositions she
    inherits, which makes fair gifts fairer; for where
    an unclean mind carries virtuous qualities, there
    commendations go with pity; they are virtues and
    traitors too; in her they are the better for their
    simpleness; she derives her honesty and achieves her goodness.

LAFEU

    Your commendations, madam, get from her tears.

COUNTESS

    'Tis the best brine a maiden can season her praise
    in. The remembrance of her father never approaches
    her heart but the tyranny of her sorrows takes all
    livelihood from her cheek. No more of this, Helena;
    go to, no more; lest it be rather thought you affect
    a sorrow than have it.

HELENA

    I do affect a sorrow indeed, but I have it too.

LAFEU

    Moderate lamentation is the right of the dead,
    excessive grief the enemy to the living.

COUNTESS

    If the living be enemy to the grief, the excess
    makes it soon mortal.

BERTRAM

    Madam, I desire your holy wishes.

LAFEU

    How understand we that?

COUNTESS

    Be thou blest, Bertram, and succeed thy father
    In manners, as in shape! thy blood and virtue
    Contend for empire in thee, and thy goodness
    Share with thy birthright! Love all, trust a few,
    Do wrong to none: be able for thine enemy
    Rather in power than use, and keep thy friend
    Under thy own life's key: be cheque'd for silence,
    But never tax'd for speech. What heaven more will,
    That thee may furnish and my prayers pluck down,
    Fall on thy head! Farewell, my lord;
    'Tis an unseason'd courtier; good my lord,
    Advise him.

LAFEU

    He cannot want the best
    That shall attend his love.

COUNTESS

    Heaven bless him! Farewell, Bertram.

    Exit

BERTRAM

    [To HELENA] The best wishes that can be forged in
    your thoughts be servants to you! Be comfortable
    to my mother, your mistress, and make much of her.

LAFEU

    Farewell, pretty lady: you must hold the credit of
    your father.

    Exeunt BERTRAM and LAFEU

HELENA

    O, were that all! I think not on my father;
    And these great tears grace his remembrance more
    Than those I shed for him. What was he like?
    I have forgot him: my imagination
    Carries no favour in't but Bertram's.
    I am undone: there is no living, none,
    If Bertram be away. 'Twere all one
    That I should love a bright particular star
    And think to wed it, he is so above me:
    In his bright radiance and collateral light
    Must I be comforted, not in his sphere.
    The ambition in my love thus plagues itself:
    The hind that would be mated by the lion
    Must die for love. 'Twas pretty, though plague,
    To see him every hour; to sit and draw
    His arched brows, his hawking eye, his curls,
    In our heart's table; heart too capable
    Of every line and trick of his sweet favour:
    But now he's gone, and my idolatrous fancy
    Must sanctify his reliques. Who comes here?

    Enter PAROLLES

    Aside
    One that goes with him: I love him for his sake;
    And yet I know him a notorious liar,
    Think him a great way fool, solely a coward;
    Yet these fixed evils sit so fit in him,
    That they take place, when virtue's steely bones
    Look bleak i' the cold wind: withal, full oft we see
    Cold wisdom waiting on superfluous folly.

PAROLLES

    Save you, fair queen!

HELENA

    And you, monarch!

PAROLLES

    No.

HELENA

    And no.

PAROLLES

    Are you meditating on virginity?

HELENA

    Ay. You have some stain of soldier in you: let me
    ask you a question. Man is enemy to virginity; how
    may we barricado it against him?

PAROLLES

    Keep him out.

HELENA

    But he assails; and our virginity, though valiant,
    in the defence yet is weak: unfold to us some
    warlike resistance.

PAROLLES

    There is none: man, sitting down before you, will
    undermine you and blow you up.

HELENA

    Bless our poor virginity from underminers and
    blowers up! Is there no military policy, how
    virgins might blow up men?

PAROLLES

    Virginity being blown down, man will quicklier be
    blown up: marry, in blowing him down again, with
    the breach yourselves made, you lose your city. It
    is not politic in the commonwealth of nature to
    preserve virginity. Loss of virginity is rational
    increase and there was never virgin got till
    virginity was first lost. That you were made of is
    metal to make virgins. Virginity by being once lost
    may be ten times found; by being ever kept, it is
    ever lost: 'tis too cold a companion; away with 't!

HELENA

    I will stand for 't a little, though therefore I die a virgin.

PAROLLES

    There's little can be said in 't; 'tis against the
    rule of nature. To speak on the part of virginity,
    is to accuse your mothers; which is most infallible
    disobedience. He that hangs himself is a virgin:
    virginity murders itself and should be buried in
    highways out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate
    offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites,
    much like a cheese; consumes itself to the very
    paring, and so dies with feeding his own stomach.
    Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of
    self-love, which is the most inhibited sin in the
    canon. Keep it not; you cannot choose but loose
    by't: out with 't! within ten year it will make
    itself ten, which is a goodly increase; and the
    principal itself not much the worse: away with 't!

HELENA

    How might one do, sir, to lose it to her own liking?

PAROLLES

    Let me see: marry, ill, to like him that ne'er it
    likes. 'Tis a commodity will lose the gloss with
    lying; the longer kept, the less worth: off with 't
    while 'tis vendible; answer the time of request.
    Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her cap out
    of fashion: richly suited, but unsuitable: just
    like the brooch and the tooth-pick, which wear not
    now. Your date is better in your pie and your
    porridge than in your cheek; and your virginity,
    your old virginity, is like one of our French
    withered pears, it looks ill, it eats drily; marry,
    'tis a withered pear; it was formerly better;
    marry, yet 'tis a withered pear: will you anything with it?

HELENA

    Not my virginity yet [ ]
    There shall your master have a thousand loves,
    A mother and a mistress and a friend,
    A phoenix, captain and an enemy,
    A guide, a goddess, and a sovereign,
    A counsellor, a traitress, and a dear;
    His humble ambition, proud humility,
    His jarring concord, and his discord dulcet,
    His faith, his sweet disaster; with a world
    Of pretty, fond, adoptious christendoms,
    That blinking Cupid gossips. Now shall he--
    I know not what he shall. God send him well!
    The court's a learning place, and he is one--

PAROLLES

    What one, i' faith?

HELENA

    That I wish well. 'Tis pity--

PAROLLES

    What's pity?

HELENA

    That wishing well had not a body in't,
    Which might be felt; that we, the poorer born,
    Whose baser stars do shut us up in wishes,
    Might with effects of them follow our friends,
    And show what we alone must think, which never
    Return us thanks.

    Enter Page

Page

    Monsieur Parolles, my lord calls for you.

    Exit

PAROLLES

    Little Helen, farewell; if I can remember thee, I
    will think of thee at court.

HELENA

    Monsieur Parolles, you were born under a charitable star.

PAROLLES

    Under Mars, I.

HELENA

    I especially think, under Mars.

PAROLLES

    Why under Mars?

HELENA

    The wars have so kept you under that you must needs
    be born under Mars.

PAROLLES

    When he was predominant.

HELENA

    When he was retrograde, I think, rather.

PAROLLES

    Why think you so?

HELENA

    You go so much backward when you fight.

PAROLLES

    That's for advantage.

HELENA

    So is running away, when fear proposes the safety;
    but the composition that your valour and fear makes
    in you is a virtue of a good wing, and I like the wear well.

PAROLLES

    I am so full of businesses, I cannot answer thee
    acutely. I will return perfect courtier; in the
    which, my instruction shall serve to naturalize
    thee, so thou wilt be capable of a courtier's
    counsel and understand what advice shall thrust upon
    thee; else thou diest in thine unthankfulness, and
    thine ignorance makes thee away: farewell. When
    thou hast leisure, say thy prayers; when thou hast
    none, remember thy friends; get thee a good husband,
    and use him as he uses thee; so, farewell.

    Exit

HELENA

    Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie,
    Which we ascribe to heaven: the fated sky
    Gives us free scope, only doth backward pull
    Our slow designs when we ourselves are dull.
    What power is it which mounts my love so high,
    That makes me see, and cannot feed mine eye?
    The mightiest space in fortune nature brings
    To join like likes and kiss like native things.
    Impossible be strange attempts to those
    That weigh their pains in sense and do suppose
    What hath been cannot be: who ever strove
    So show her merit, that did miss her love?
    The king's disease--my project may deceive me,
    But my intents are fix'd and will not leave me.

    Exit

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