All's Well That Ends Well - Act 3 - Scene 6

SCENE VI. Camp before Florence.

    Enter BERTRAM and the two French Lords

Second Lord

    Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let him have his
    way.

First Lord

    If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no
    more in your respect.

Second Lord

    On my life, my lord, a bubble.

BERTRAM

    Do you think I am so far deceived in him?

Second Lord

    Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge,
    without any malice, but to speak of him as my
    kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and
    endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner
    of no one good quality worthy your lordship's
    entertainment.

First Lord

    It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in
    his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some
    great and trusty business in a main danger fail you.

BERTRAM

    I would I knew in what particular action to try him.

First Lord

    None better than to let him fetch off his drum,
    which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.

Second Lord

    I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly
    surprise him; such I will have, whom I am sure he
    knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink
    him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he
    is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when
    we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship
    present at his examination: if he do not, for the
    promise of his life and in the highest compulsion of
    base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the
    intelligence in his power against you, and that with
    the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never
    trust my judgment in any thing.

First Lord

    O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum;
    he says he has a stratagem for't: when your
    lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to
    what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be
    melted, if you give him not John Drum's
    entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed.
    Here he comes.

    Enter PAROLLES

Second Lord

    [Aside to BERTRAM] O, for the love of laughter,
    hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch
    off his drum in any hand.

BERTRAM

    How now, monsieur! this drum sticks sorely in your
    disposition.

First Lord

    A pox on't, let it go; 'tis but a drum.

PAROLLES

    'But a drum'! is't 'but a drum'? A drum so lost!
    There was excellent command,--to charge in with our
    horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers!

First Lord

    That was not to be blamed in the command of the
    service: it was a disaster of war that Caesar
    himself could not have prevented, if he had been
    there to command.

BERTRAM

    Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: some
    dishonour we had in the loss of that drum; but it is
    not to be recovered.

PAROLLES

    It might have been recovered.

BERTRAM

    It might; but it is not now.

PAROLLES

    It is to be recovered: but that the merit of
    service is seldom attributed to the true and exact
    performer, I would have that drum or another, or
    'hic jacet.'

BERTRAM

    Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur: if you
    think your mystery in stratagem can bring this
    instrument of honour again into his native quarter,
    be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on; I will
    grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you
    speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it.
    and extend to you what further becomes his
    greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your
    worthiness.

PAROLLES

    By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.

BERTRAM

    But you must not now slumber in it.

PAROLLES

    I'll about it this evening: and I will presently
    pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my
    certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation;
    and by midnight look to hear further from me.

BERTRAM

    May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it?

PAROLLES

    I know not what the success will be, my lord; but
    the attempt I vow.

BERTRAM

    I know thou'rt valiant; and, to the possibility of
    thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell.

PAROLLES

    I love not many words.

    Exit

Second Lord

    No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a
    strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems
    to undertake this business, which he knows is not to
    be done; damns himself to do and dares better be
    damned than to do't?

First Lord

    You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it
    is that he will steal himself into a man's favour and
    for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but
    when you find him out, you have him ever after.

BERTRAM

    Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of
    this that so seriously he does address himself unto?

Second Lord

    None in the world; but return with an invention and
    clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we
    have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall
    to-night; for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect.

First Lord

    We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case
    him. He was first smoked by the old lord Lafeu:
    when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a
    sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this
    very night.

Second Lord

    I must go look my twigs: he shall be caught.

BERTRAM

    Your brother he shall go along with me.

Second Lord

    As't please your lordship: I'll leave you.

    Exit

BERTRAM

    Now will I lead you to the house, and show you
    The lass I spoke of.

First Lord

    But you say she's honest.

BERTRAM

    That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once
    And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her,
    By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind,
    Tokens and letters which she did re-send;
    And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature:
    Will you go see her?

First Lord

    With all my heart, my lord.

    Exeunt